Things You'd Never Hear Avatar Characters Say

[Sanjwale]

how harsh they are. they where funny

[neytirifanboy]

***SPOILER ALERT***

The following scenario contains spoilers from Mass Effect 3.

After crashing on a mysterious planet, Shepard's crew and squad mates stumble out the Normandy to find themselves in a paradisical forestal wonderland where hughes of green, blue and red hover in the air. As they look around themselves in awe at their wonderous surroundings, an impossibly beautiful 9-foot slim blue-skinned alien female steps out to greet them.

Neytiri: Oh, for f*ck sake. Not another bunch of f*cking skypeople!

PRE-EMPTIVE POMPOUS NOTE FROM THE SUPREMELY TALENTED WORD SMITH WHO DEVELOPED AND PUBLISHED THIS MASTERPIECE

Yes, I know what you are going to say. None of it makes sense. Right?

How come the crew can breath on Pandora without wearing masks? How come Neytiri is swearing? How come Neytiri hasn't changed in 50 years between the end of Avatar and the end of ME3? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear the unjustified fan-entitled moaning already.

Listen you entitled whiners, I am a talented artist and I have thus used my artistic licence to write this work of unique and inspired art. It's not my fault that you are all too stupid and lazy to work it out yourselves. The answers are all there for anyone who are willing to use their tiny brain just a little bit to work it out themselves. Simply put you should use my artistic masterpiece as inspiration to make it up yourself. Jeez, do I have to explain everthing to you morons?

Also, because this is art, I am am telling you now that I will not change it so that it makes sense. I will not compromise my artistic vision just to placate some moronic fans who "can't see".

Wake Up! This is art. So all that stuff about serving fans and customer is irrelevant here. You should be grateful to me for spending my precious time bringing joy and inspiration to your pathetic sad, lonely and dull lives.

Anyway, once you have all accepted that I am a genius (even if you are too stupid to understand why), you can continue the fantastical adventures of the Normandy crew on Pandora by downloading them from my story site at only $10 each.

So please go to <<www.I-am-and-artist-give-me-your-money.com>> to continue the fantastical adventures of Comander Shepard, his crew and the Star-child on Pandora.

I assure you it will be nothing like Lost or Avatar and wont have and A, B C ending. But it will be very colourful.

[Ja'k Dawsiin]

an impossibly beautiful 9-foot slim blue-skinned alien female steps out to greet them. Neytiri: Oh, for f*ck sake. Not another bunch of f*cking skypeople!

oh boy,i almost spilled my Redbull on the floor,at reading this part. sorry,Lady Ney....i giggled.

[Porthos1]

^A rather rude vision of our Azure Angel. Fail. She would more likely say, "For Eywa's sake, not another bunch of skxawng skypeople!" And Ja'k, you will go to hell for giggling at that.!!!! ;-)

[Sanjwale]

Epic! just epic

[neytirifanboy]

Jake has woken in his Avatar body for the first time. With the excitement of having legs again, Jake rips of the tubes and stumbles off the bed.

A small female scientist blocks the door, preventing Jake from leaving. Jake looks at the small framed woman blocking his path.

Jake: You've got to be kidding me. You can't stop me from leaving. I am twice your height.

Female scientist: A small woman who uses intelligence and courage can always defeat a man, no matter how big he is.

Jake: Really? how?

The female scientist suddenly rushes forward and head-butts Jake in the bollocks causing him to fall to the ground with a grunt.

Female scientist: By using her head, numb nuts.

[prowler]

Lol'd

[-NAVI-]

Haha that's Pretty Funny! Seems to have Kept me and Others Entertained

[MarkD]

LOL

Here's one.

Norm and Jake are arguing.

Norm: Could you at least pretend at being interested while I'm teaching you the language?

Jake: What?

Norm: Fake it.

Jake: Does Trudy do that too?


Norm scowls at Jake.

[Ikaríyu]

OH norm is beat lol