Things You'd Never Hear Avatar Characters Say

[TurboNa'vi]

Neytiri: My Quaritch, we are mated for life!
Quaritch: In your face, Jake!
Jake: *sobs* Why!? Why did my rear end have to betray meeee!?

Quaritch: Okay tighty whities! Do your thing! *sticks them in Jakes face*
Jake: Holy crap! Damn this extra large nose! *Faints*

Neytiri: The Hometree...so many memories of NIIIIICE stuff in my BEDROOM with another MALE NA'VI there...
Jake: The Hometree is destroyed! HELL YEAH!

[neytirifanboy]

Jake (after the 'mating' at the Tree of Voices): "You know what a 'hypothetical situation' is don't you?"
Neytiri: "Yes. Grace explained that to us in school one day. That's like a thing that you pretend could happen."
Jake: "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, hypothetically, what would it take for you and the rest of the Omaticaya to move out of Hometree, if you had to move?"
Neytiri: "What are you getting at, Jake?"
Jake: "Just play along. I don't know, if you had to up and move out really, really quickly, what would it take for you to do that?"
Neytiri: "Oh well, I don't know. I like those garments I've seen on some of the Sky People. I think you call them 'jeans' or something. I'd move if I could have a few pairs of those. And then I have seen some of you Sky People drinking something you call 'beer' I think. It sounds good. If we could get some of that, the clan might move. I'd have to ask around and see if anyone would want some of that."
Jake (thinking): "Hmm. I'll tell you what, Neytiri, I think I can make that happen, but you'd have to move quickly, like in the next day or so. You guys think you can do that?"
Neytiri: "I don't know. Let's sleep on it."
Jake: "Yeah, let's. Life is good!"

That's a good one. :ncool:

I'm sure that could be used in so many situations. Like in the same scenario:

Jake: I need advice about a friend, Neytiri.
Neytiri: Yes??
Jake: Well I have this friend who has been living with one of the Na'vi clans. He met a very nice Na'vi girl who gave him hospitality, training in the Na'vi way of life and even took him as her mate.
Neytiri: Yes??
Jake: But that friend gave information inadvertantly to the RDA which would result in the destruction of their Hometree. Do you think the girl would be angry?
Neytiri: Mmm. That is a difficult one. But I suspect she would tie your friend to a pole and let him die of exposure.
Jake: Mmmm, right. So I presume it would also be a bad idea for my friend to tell her that a bulldozer will destroy the tree of voices this morning.

[TurboNa'vi]

Jake: Guess what time it is guys?
Neytiri: It's time to sleep a**hole! It's bloody one in the morning!
Jake: Incorrect! It's time to kick some human a**!
Neytiri: *Stands up and kicks Jake off the tree*
Jake: Aaaah! Viperwolves!
*Viperwolves suddenly grow missile launchers and machine guns*
Neytiri: I'm coming baby!
*Neytiri jumps off the tree to save Jake but hits her head several times and lands on her back*
Neytiri: Oh crap...
*Viperwolves rip her clothes off*
Jake: *Starts drooling* Yummy...
Neytiri: You pervert! *Bites Jakes crotch*
Jake: Yeeeeoooow!

[LOVEavatar]

Before the Final Fight on Pandora... Jake has himself a little speech for the other Clans Warriors!

Tsu'Tey: TEN HUT! EYES FORWARD!

Jake appears.

Jake: My name Is Jacob Sully aka Toruk Makto ... and I need me a Warriors!
Jake: We're going to be heading out in the Jungle... flying our Ikrans! We're gonna be doing one Thaing and one Thaing Only... Killin ´Sky-People!
Na'vi: YES SIR!!!
Continues...

Jake: The members of the Resources Development Administration, invaded Pandora through Murder, Stealing , Intimidation... and Terror! And that's Exactly what we're gonna do to ém!
Jake: We Will be cruel to the Sky-People! And through our cruelty they will know who own this land!
Jake: They will find the evidence of our cruelty... with the disemboweled, dismemberd and disfigured bodies oftheir brothers we leave behind us! And the Sky-People will not be able to help themselfs... from the madness, the cruelty... their brothers went through in our hands... and our Tails... and the edge of our Tails!
Tsu'Tey: *Smirking*
Jake: The Sky-People will be sicken by us! The Sky-People will talk about us! And The Sky-People WILL FEAR US! The RDA ain't got no Na'vinity! And they need to be Abducted!
Na'vi: YES SIR!
Jake: Oh!... And Each and every one of the Warriors that are under Toruk Makto's command earns me Two. HUNDRED. TAWTUTE.JUJUBES! (Two/Sky-People)
... AND I WANT MY DELICIOUS JUJUBES!

Inglourious
Na'vi!

Coming soon...

[tm20]

That is awsome! I would love to see that.

[LOVEavatar]

That is awsome! I would love to see that.

Thia ^ OMG *DYING from Awsomeness*

Under the tree of voices...

Jake: Well I don't want Ninat!
Neytiri:*Smile* *Blows the Atokirina away*
Neytiri: Pey'ral is... good hunter!
Jake: Yeah she is a good hunter! *Neytiri turns around to face Jake*
Jake: But I've already chosen. But... but this woman must also choose me!
Neytiri: She already has...
Jake: (Oh Boy! Here comes the kiss... 3...2...1..!) *SMACK*
Jake stumbles away.
Jake: Hey... WTF WAS THAT FOR!
Neytiri: WTF are doing? Try to rape me?
Jake: ... What?
Neytiri: You do it with your mouths?
Jake: Umm... yeah... , Neytiri: EUUWWWWW
Jake: Hey! How else are you supposed to do it!
Neytiri: Like this! *Grabs Jake by his shoulders and thrust her mouth to...HIS NOSE!*

PS: If you've watched Hot Shot I think you can imagine it!
(VERY Funny movie btw ^_^)

[TurboNa'vi]

Neytiri: Jake, there's something I-I want to tell you. *blushes*
Jake: What is it? (Aha! She's going to admit she stole my Viperwolf Burger!)
Neytiri: I-it's import-important...
Jake: (It sure is!)
Neytiri: I-I...
Jake: (Hell yeah! I'm so going to-)
Neytiri: I love you! *kisses Jake*
Jake: Oh...wow...I love you too Neytiri.
Neytiri: *Makes out with Jake)
Jake: So...what do you want to do tonight?
Neytiri: Um...I guess I should tell you I took your Viperwolf Burger...
Jake: Sonofabi-DAMN YOU!
Neytiri: We are together now, you cannot insult me.
Jake: IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT BURGER BACK I'M GOING TO SHOVE YOUR HAIR DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!
Neytiri: B-but Jake!
Jake: Alright B****! *Shoves Neytiri's hair down her throat*
Neytiri: You A**WALKER!
Jake: Now you can have a connection with your intestines, B****!

[LOVEavatar]

Would have been more funny if it hadn't been Neytiri! Lol sorry but hey! I'm a fanboy ^_^

[SnowRider]

Neytiri (right after she mates with Jake): "So now Jake, there was this thing Grace taught us in school once called a 'hypothetical situation' and I was wondering if you knew what that is?"
Jake: "Yeah, that is like when you pretend that something you think up is real."
Neytiri: "So anyway, here's a hypothetical situation. Let's say that there is this Na'vi woman I know from another clan who meets this hot dreamwalker dude and mates with him for life."
Jake: "Alright, I'm with you so far."
Neytiri: "And let's say she tells him the next morning that she's pregnant with his kid. What would this dreamwalker dude do then?"
Jake: "Hm, have to think about that. He'd probably get on the next shuttle to Earth and get off this planet while the getting is good, if you know what I mean."
Neytiri: "Yeah, that sounds about right. Grace also taught us about something called 'child support' and I was just wondering if you knew what that is?"

[Colonel Quaritch]

I love this thread.