Avatar 2 Short Story Script

[jvasquez33]

Here is my little version of what I would want the Avatar sequel to be.

Avatar 2: Awakened published on fanfiction.net UPDATED VERSION 1/07/2010 (fanfic)




Edit: The story was getting to big for forums. So I had to put it on a fanfic publishing site above.

[xcrunner08]

I read the first couple chapters of it. It seems well put together and the idea is good. The only thing is that the character of Neytiri just seems...off. I don't know, I just can't see er saying some of the things that she does. But I mean it is difficult to write about a character you didn't create. Keep at it man!

[jvasquez33]

Good observation, and you are absolutely right. I think I went too far with the perfect english for Neytiri. I think I need to keep her more cultural and her english a lot more simple and 2nd language type, so it would seem like something she would say. Good call though.

[Ethan]

i read a little and it seems verry good and like you put a lot of time and effort into this some one might read the whole thing but i dont have that time

[jvasquez33]

I changed the way Neytiri did talk in ch2 some, I made it look like she could have "possibly" said it. I guess when you are having to much fun writing it, sometimes you don't see the obvious. Thanks for pointing that out, that definitely had to change to fit Neytiris style. Now when I have more time, I'll go through the entire thing and revise what shes saying, and how. Hell I even threw in some Na'vi for her. But im pretty sure that I butchered the language pretty badly lol, although its a fun challenge trying.

[Colonel]

Very nice read. What gave you the idea of using such a creature by the way? I think a more thrilling but at the same time slightly redundant take for the sequel could be a band of left over mercenaries who band together. Their leader illustrates the same qualities as Jake. The eventual confrontation leaves Jake essentially fighting himself. How the fight would end is up to you.

[jvasquez33]

What gave me the idea was when they were flying over the Tree of Souls and you can see some ring like ancient structures over it. Figured it was either from the Na'Vi or some ancient civilization before them, or something. But yea, that's what gave me the idea.

[ar0c6]

Good Read, I Enjoyed it. Some things seemed off, but its a fanfic, writers right =)
Thanks for posting it!

[jvasquez33]

Thank you Much appreciated.

[jvasquez33]

Translating some of the conversations in ch3 to Na'Vi was somewhat fun lol. Although I have no knowledge of the correct sequence and grammar, I simply just plugged in the translation as best I could. Wheres the Na'Vi linguists at, im sure they are in here somewhere lol.